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Dear Blog,

I really miss you.  I was reading some of the posts here and I suddenly started longing for you.  And then it all made sense.  I am longing for me.

Missing me with love,

Sandy

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Let’s think about cause and effect.  There are two perspectives I will use when trying to decipher the cause and effect of me hitting

Watch out, this plastic body hits.

you on the head.  Now, I’ve hit you on the head.  And I am not apologizing.

In the discipline that studies human behavior and motivation, known as psychology, my hitting you on the head has a cause and effect.  First of all, what caused me to do it?  Did you say something mean to me?  Did you try to steal my purse?  Was it in self defense?  If none of these apply, I’m psychotic.  Now, why did I react by hitting you?  Well, my reaction was an effect of, say, growing up in an abusive family or a family that hit frequently.  Or, it was an effect of my efforts in unlearning to be a passive person after an episode of bullying when I was an elementary school.  (Note:  none of this is true.  It is a scenario).  Once I hit you there will probably be an effect.  You might swear at me or maybe hit me back.  You might call the police or ask me why I did such a horrible thing and try to talk it out.  Your reaction is going to be based on your perception of the situation and your own background and experiences.  So the cause and the effect are both based in our own histories and perceptions.

Now, yoga philosophy sees cause and effect differently and I am only just learning this outlook.  I hit you on the head (again).  I did not apologize.  You call me a psycho and rather than hitting me back, you leave.  Yoga philosophy says the cause in this situation is not me hitting you.  The cause happened before this moment, sometime ago, when I planted a seed of an act of either kindness or pain.  I probably planted a seed of kindness in the past because you did NOT hit me back today.  The effect is that you called me a psycho and walked away.  There was no negative repercussion to hitting you on the head NOW, but I just planted a seed of pain when I hit you.  This negative action will cause another effect in the future. 

The philosophy of yoga is simple and clean, kind of.  There’s less talking involved, less breaking down the situation, it seems.  More thoughts about how to behave in this moment than why we are behaving in such a way.  Less thinking, more doing.  Plant seeds of kindness and compassion and all that results in the future will be good for YOU.  Plant seeds of pain for others and all that results in the future will be painful experiences for YOU. 

I hope I’ve planted a good seed in writing this post, one that ripens into full knowledge of yoga philosophy!

Totally Ridiculous; Totally Awesome

 The way women wear our hair tells a story about who we are at a certain moment.  A slick ponytail may mean you are sleek and sophisticated, you just left the gym and had no time to shower, or maybe you need your hair out of the way because you’re a busy gal.  Shopping is harder to do when there’s a piece of hair in your face.  Bad hair day?  Would I tell you if it was?   A short spiky purposefully styled cut might mean you are a punk rocker at heart, even though you’re nearing 40,  you like to live on the edge, you like to stand out, you have something to say and it’s against what Barbie’s gorgeous mane supports.  Or maybe you like Barbie’s look, and you wear it long and flowing, looking for supermodel status or a look that’s exotic and mysterious.  When half of your hair is intentionally covering half of your face, of course you look mysterious.  Who wants to see the world from one eye?  Who doesn’t?  It’s sexy.

Let me speak to those of us who can spend an hour straightening our beautiful waves or curls.  For every hour we spend doing our hair, that’s one less hour in our lives that we are doing something that really matters.  In that time, we could be having a meal with our mothers, talking on the phone with our sisters, learning a new craft like knitting, reading, painting, playing with our child(ren), giving our spouses attention.  At the same time, we are trying to erase the memory of our hair follicles.  We are asking our curls and waves to go into hiding.  We don’t want frizz.  We want smooth.  We don’t want untamed.  We want  perfect contours.  Now, after 20 minutes, do your shoulders hurt?  Your back?  Spending that hour will tense your muscles in all the ways that will help damper your mood. 

We wish we could wash our hair and have it dry naturally in a perfectly stylish way.  Well, it does.  Each strand of hair is meant to be exactly the way it is.  Imagine what that says about us when we can walk around wearing our hair the way it is meant to be, or at least, not totally damaging it with heat and chemicals?  Naturally wavy hair, means, wow, you understand that real beauty should not be masked with the ideal of the All American Girl.  Naturally curly hair neatly cascading, wildly flying, means you trust your follicles!  You love your follicles!  It means you spend your time wisely and you care more about the way you live life than the way you look in life.  Our hair tells us stories about who we are at any moment.  What story does your hair tell about you?

I meant to post something fun today but instead started a new blog.  Please find it at www.chaldeanissues.com

Now to begin the balancing act!

Fiction Writers, Novelists, Storytellers:  I admire you!  You create characters, complex plots, and drama.  Strumming your imagination, you play with your readers’ emotions.  You make profound points about life, sometimes indirectly, that the reader has to work to interpret.  Your words are descriptive and even beautiful.  You have genius that I don’t.

I don’t like fiction.  I’m lazy and my imagination is underdeveloped.  If you’ve lost me at the bookstore, find me in the self-help or health section.  If you’re trying to tell me something, please be direct.  If you want to tell me a story about something funny that happened the other day and you’re going to use detail, make sure you use wild gestures and silly voices to keep my attention.    I would do the same for you.

So, while I love a good movie but haven’t read a work of fiction in years, I’ll explain what you can expect from reading this blog.  You can expect that my writing will sound dry.  It might even read like a really bad lecture. 

Bust most of all, what you can expect from this blog is to read about some lady who is always trying to grow, sometimes succeeding and often times failing.  The writing will probably at times feel heavy, considering that I’m 2 months into dealing with the loss of my 9-day-old son.  But don’t expect it will be that all the time.  The purpose of this blog is essentially to be uplifting in a time of grief or even just stagnation.  So, I’m not sure why you are reading this, but if you are:  Thank You.